Hoping for better future

I don't really know if I have a future. I mean not only regarding my career but every single thing. Life has never been the same as it was. I'm not sure if it's me who's complicating everything or it's complicated already. Thanks to those who never left me. Congrats to Wan Izzah upon her completion of MBSS. Dr Wan Izzah now! I know I've never been a very good person who is perfect. I'm still trying to be a better human than I was before. Actually I don't really know the purpose I'm writing this now. Deep inside, I feel so empty. Like half of me is missing. And to that one person..I'm missing you so much.. so deng much.. I wish you know. Of all the accusations you've made on me, I'm still thinking way to prove that you were wrong. Still figuring out a way. Enough for blabbers for tonight. Gd nite world.. ;)

Ok...my life was never the same aft i met you...it is more shitty n eeiwwishh..lantak ko la labu...im tired of your dramas n stuffs...actually aq yg slh pilih kwn...aq x knal ko mcm mne...if we know a persons real character when we 1st meet them...it would have been 1000 times better thn the cond we are now..aish...no point regretting over spilt milk..best thing to do...just leave everything n walk off...look up n walk with pride... ;-)

GlOoMy

Seriously...aq rse mcm...ntah la erk..wonder why i exist..Feel like npe la aq hrus jmpe some ppl...its all my fault...100% salah aq..N,it seems so hard to mend things right...penat...sgt2...maybe org tu pn rse mcm tu jugak...feeling so uncomfortable and guilty...Dear Lord,pls send me some guidance from above...off for rite now...gd nite peeps...

I'm tired...

Ok...writing blog has become like a once in a blue moon for me...actually...medicine school life is hectic than the way I thought..anyhow,life has to go on...still trying my best to compete with the others..I may not be the smart one like others..but,I am trying hard..the major prob I'm having here is....SLEEP!!! Just dunno how to cope up with this...Arghh....probably bcz of d weather...its like Katy Perry song...Hot then you are cold..hahaha...gtg...bye....

here i am in kursky russia....

ok...i know i left my blog for about 2 years plus....in this 2 years,a lot of things has happened...mm...1001 untold stories kept inside....n,i wish to forget most of them...well..aft my two years struggling with my STPM reference books and hectic life..here i am in KSMU,Russia....pretty cool uh?? of course...its -5 out there..mmg tak macam aq nk beku kn....haha...actually,i jz remembered the existence of my blog...remain unupdated...n,i jz signed in 2 check whether it's still accessible or not...n,here it is...masih sihat walafiat...n,yeah...my life as a medical student begins here...n,i feel lost....i still wonder can i be a doctor?? cz,i feel like i dun hv d qualities of a doc which most of my Samurians friends who are studying for medicine does...Low self esteem i say...ermm...for d sake of fulfilling my late dad's wish n my promise to my bestest friend, Wan Izzah....wat else shall i write here....ok....d life here sux sometimes....u knw...diff people...diff country...everythng is diff...yeah..i knw i cant expect Malaysia and Russia to be d same jz because both name ends with "sia"..aish...i miss my home....my family and friends there...feel like wanna cry smtyms u knw....those who are away from home will understand how i feel...n,sorry to all my friends who thought aq dh hilang or lost contact...its jz dt i had no time...n,bknnyer aq xnk ckp kat korang aq dh fly...jz,wanna wait everythng to be ok n settle down 1st....i dun wanna count on the chicks before the eggs hatched...sorry,friends......ok....got 2 go....a lot of assignment to do....tc....see u soon,my blog....dahsvidaniya.... <3

Apa aq nak buat ni?!

hmm..aq rasa bosan giler nak mampus!!!rasa cam aq dah takde hala tuju taw x?!ntah ar....aq confused and depressed!!aq x pernah sangka hidup aq akan jadi cam ni..malas nak pk..buat menyemak aje kepala otak aq yg sudah tersedia semak ni! hahahaha....pas ni aq kena gi dewan kuliah ..aq ada kuliah maths..bosan arr..malas taw x?aq taw lar yg aq ni memeng pemalas tp sekarang ni aq dah bertambah malas..i need catalyst man!!!!

matriculation sucks

hari ini ntah hari ke brapa aq kat matrix perlis..jauh giler dari rumah aq..aq terpaksa travel dari selatan ke utara hanya untuk menimba ilmu..but,guess what aq dapat sains fizikal and aq tak suka pun..dah lar takde sape2 yg aq kenal kat sini..hmm..except sorang budak yang aq jmpe mase interview jpa..aq bengang giler coz aq x dapat apa yang aq nak..memang lar aq takde apa2 plan but ntah cam mane aq nak describe perasaan aq!!I FEEL FRUSTATED taw x! thank god aq ada kengkawan yang sangat2 support aq..thanks izzah,jaja,deint and all of the ganga gingy!!!!!!! i miss you guys badly!!mase korang ada dgn aq,aq tak taw nak hargai korang but now i really hope that you guys are with me..kepada sesape yang gi luar negara tu,jgn lupakan aq taw!especially deint,kekkwa and suture...kemungkinan besar aq akan keluar dari matrix yang sangat menyeksa aq...either aq gi buat diloma or gi aimst..korang taw x apa tu aimst? kemungkinan besar korang tak taw..well,aimst tu asean institute of medical science and technology....susah lar aq nak buat keputusan....runsing+bingung+sedih and etc......pendek kata undefined lar senang.....hahahaha...aq x sabar nak balik rumah...miss my parents so much and,birthday adik angkat aq semakin dekat..pada 15 june..so,aq nak wish a very happy birthday to my dearest sister,lyra a.k.a nurul izzah binti alias,...arghhh....bosannyer hidup!!!aq harap sangat aq boleh balik semula ke samura and tak kisah lar kena buat duty dorm ke or apa2..aq rela kena leter dgn guru2 aq daripada duduk sini..pensyarah bagi lecture macam dia nak kejar train or aeroplane!!!cepat giler boleh tak!!!boleh mengalahkan bullet train yang canggih tu!!!!susah lar aq blaja kat sini..rasa mcm this is not where i should be!!!kumar or dick deserve it more than me!!!aq sgt bersimpati dgn paker yg sdg buat stpm kat high school kluang..terkejut giler nak mampos!!kumar pula akan gi buat foundation kat uniten..bakal engineer lar tu..hehehe...moreover,good luck kepada sume budak samura..and,congratz kepada yang dapat jpa and mara....yang lain tu pun congratz gak!!!!semoga kita berjaya dan kembali ke samura sebagai alumni yang cemerlang,gemilang and terbilang....hahahaha....take a GREAT care!!!! GOOD LUCK AGAIN!!!!!!